There is a story behind each divorce, and children of divorce have their own stories. Sometimes children do not have words to tell us their pain but they are fully aware of the conflict, the pain and the fear.
Some children who follow the waves after the dissolution of their parents’ relationship keep their own individual scars– how much and how deep depend on how their parents handle divorce and manage their conflicts.
Some parents remain lifelong enemies and are forever wrapped up in their own drama and pain. They push and push until they can “win: – but “Win at all costs” with the price of the lifelong damage to themselves and their children.
Research has shown that 10 % of all divorces are unable to stay away from conflicts at all. Children who grow up in such hostile and aggressive relationships can carry torches from their young age to the time when they are parents and even grandparents. Many adult children of divorce have fear of abandonment and fear of not being good enough to be loved. They carry their past trauma into their relationships and have to fight hard to break the cycle of broken relationships.
Parents are the first role models for their children and are their first teachers teaching them about the meaning of life and the value of themselves. Let us join hands together to listen to our children and give them a world with the roots of love and security so they can fly high and far without boundary and emotional baggage.
There are thousands of children whose parents get divorced every day in the world. It is natural to think children know about this and it is not hard to find someone in the same boat. Yet when parents split up children still feel like they are the only one in the world going through it. It seems there is no one to talk to and nowhere to turn to. We hope to assure children of divorce that you are not alone and there are ways to help healing from your parents’ divorce.
* Pledge – It is the right of children to spend time with each parent and to have the freedom to love and be loved by both parents. We promote joint responsibility of parents.
Wendy Woodhead 